What does it mean to be a
parent, what does it mean to be a mother? First of all nothing mirrors
a soul like a child. Your child is your vulnerable self. When your child
goes to school for the first time, you re-remember going to school for
the first time. When your child is kissed for the first time, you re-remember
your first kiss. Your child opens doors to yourself that need healing.
Your child shows you when the little one is you still is in pain. Your
child also shows you the wonders of being a child. Nothing is as miraculous
as a child who learning of the world. The child sees through beginner's
eyes, there are no or few preconceptions of what the world should be. There
only is, what is. A child loses ego into the moment. A child teaches that
all is in the moment. That is the wonder of a child and that is what a
child has to teach a parent, to re-remember the wonder of life itself.
The re-remember the newness in each moment and thereby bringing joy into
life and finding the eternity in each moment.
Now, you before you are
born, in the Land Between Time, the Spring Land, as we shall call it, you
sit down and review the life you have just lived, and yes each of you have
lived many lives. You choose your parents and your parents choose you.
Your parents choose you for the lessons you will teach them, and you choose
them for the lessons they will teach you. Your parents are part of your
purpose, and you are part of your parent's purpose. That is many times
why there is so much pain in families, each of you is learning. It is also
why many times it is much easier to love and know a stranger then to love
and know the members of your family; the call of purpose is NOT involved
in non-family members.
Many of you are called to move beyond what you have learned in your childhood. Many of you are called to move beyond what you have been taught by your parents to become something more. That is the motion of life itself. Life calls towards motion and towards a form of evolution, although not evolution as you define it. Evolution of ideas and thought processes. Not only are you born with your parents eye color and your parent's hair color, but you are born with their belief systems. However, life moves through idea processes and whatever idea is most needed in a family will be born into the child. So for example, let us say that you come from a strong Catholic or religious family. This family, need to begin moving beyond the religious beliefs. It needs to open itself up because it can no longer bend to life. A child will be born into that family that will have all those religious beliefs within their DNA, but as well, there will be in that child the need to break the bonds of that religious system. The family called unto itself the changes that the child by having different ideas will bring.
What are your responsibilities to your child? Your ultimate responsibility is to be true to yourself for when you are true to yourself, you will teach the child to be true to itself and that is the ultimate lesson to bringing fulfillment both into your life and into the life of the child. For example, let us say that you are a mother in a miserable marriage, and it has been that way for a long time. The mother and the father no longer love each other. The love has been killed through bitterness or blame. In that particular case to stay together for the children is from our vantage point a ludicrous idea. For if you stay in a loveless marriage you teach you children that, that is how marriage is. You teach your children to sacrifice themselves to their children. Sacrificing is not a healthy to teach a child. It is better to show your child that life is worth living and taking risks to finding a deep true love. It is better to teach your child that life is precious and so is love. To sacrifice yourself for your child puts tremendous pain unto the child. Instead to love the child and to love yourself is the most healthy way to parent. Give to your children from the center of your heart, give to them because you love them, do not give to them out of obligation. Do not give to them because it is the "right" thing to do. Obligation teaches a child that another is more important then they are. To be truly selfish, to be selfish to your highest self, is the most moral and healthy way to parent.
Mothers in your society are expected to sacrifice for there children. To give up what is important to them to be "there" for the child. We ask, what is there for the child, if the mother is unhappy? An unhappy mother will breed and raise unhappy children who will be unable to give to themselves. The same is true for a father, but less interaction and less sacrifice is demanded of a father. If a father pays the bills that is basically all that is required of him, although that is changing.
We ask each of you, would you rather have had a childhood filled with more money and a better house, or happier and more fulfilled parents teaching you how to be happier and more fulfilled adults?
Now parents make many mistakes. Most of them simply teach what they have been taught. They live out the beliefs of the parents. The most responsible thing a parent can do is to look at the beliefs of their parents and ask themselves if they wish to pass on that legacy. Then change the beliefs that are NOT healthy.
We recommend he following exercise. Imagine if you will that you are back in the hall of mirrors, except this time, in the mirror lie your parents, your mother and your father, and there mother and father, etc. Then imagine all of your ancestors around you in a circle. Ask them to tell you what their beliefs are. Ask them why they believed those beliefs. Start with your parents first and work backwards through the generations. They will tell you. Ask them as well how those beliefs effected their lives and then begin to see how those beliefs effected your life. Finally, see your children or even your potential children and ask yourself is that the legacy of belief that you wish to leave them.
It is important as well to forgive your parents for the mistakes that they caused in your life. When you are speaking of their soul spirits, ask them, why they did whatever it is that harmed you. Most of you will see that they simply did not know any better. Then when you are through with that exercise, you may wish to ask yourself why you choose that experience in your reality? Why were your born to that particular parent and what was your purpose in doing so. This exercise may take quite a long time, and please it is one of great power and do not push yourself into it, if you are not ready. It is meant to give great healing to the past and do much clearing, but many times you may not be ready for the clearing. If you need to stop anywhere in the midst of the above exercise we strongly recommend that you do so and reflect upon why you needed to stop. Then when you feel ready, for you will know begin the exercise again.
Finally, honor your parents
and what they DID teach you. For your parents DO teach you a great many
valuable; positive things and even though they may have been in terrific
pain and made mistakes because they did not know better, all parents love
their children. Yes that love can be perverted. Yes, that love can be perverted
so much that it is almost not recognizable, but the love is STILL there.
In fact, many times parents love their children more then they love themselves.
In that love and only in that way can you be free of the pain of your past,
and make peace with your parents.