One of the things that is so important for us to realise as we become more enlightened, is that we have to let go of things like judgement, criticism, hurt ego and separation.
Knowing this, doesn't make it any easier. The greatest philosophers throughout the ages have emphasised the releasing of judgement as the way to greater freedom, and it is still being brought up as an issue. This means of course, releasing the judgement we have of both ourselves and others which amounts to criticism in any shape or form. It does not mean lack of discrimination in seeing a danger when it approaches, or in ignoring our inner voice. It means just that - releasing judgement or criticism. Until we learn to do this, we cannot find true freedom or enlightenment.
I was going through a bad stage, judging and criticising my husband for various reasons, and I asked for Divine help in overcoming it. The answer I received was:
We have mentioned to you before that the only way to find unconditional love is through non-judgement and acceptance. This applies very much now in your husband's case. Observe but do not judge him. He is indeed being a reflection for you. See in him what you lack in self. His life is one of service and giving. He is tired of not being appreciated. Send him your love, your understanding, and most of all, your acceptance of him, and acknowledgement of him as a perfect being in God's light. He is shining his light in his own way. He is serving well. He has great need to take time unto himself for rest periods. He feels afraid to do this. He bears his responsibility heavily, and feels that to let go of this responsibility would be to let others down. Help him to recognise the love within himself. Show him your appreciation of him for just being who he is. He needs your love and support now more than ever. Go within and seek his eternal self. He has much to face within himself. Be accepting and forgiving.
Releasing judgement is one of the hardest things we have to learn to do, to reach a stage of enlightenment. If everybody on the planet could accept all that is, without judgement, our planet would become enlightened immediately into the beautiful star it was always meant to be. Unfortunately, we are brought up in societies that are constantly judging, compartmentalising, and criticising others for being different. Every time we label something as good/bad, black/white, sun/moon, we are judging it with preconceived ideas. If we can accept things without making too many judgements about it, we feel a warm glow inside, as we release the blockages which cause our emotions to come to a stop.
We are in a separate reality to our brother, neighbour, or co-worker, every single day. The only way to overcome this, is to look at everyone we meet, everyone we speak to, and everyone we read about, as if we were looking at an aspect of ourselves. We should then acknowledge that aspect of ourselves, and accept it, rather than trying to hide it. It is surprising how hard it is to recognise what we see in others as part of ourselves, or as a mirror of ourselves. Often it is part of us that we refuse to acknowledge, hidden deep within us. It is through learning to love and accept every part of ourselves, even the so called 'shadow side' of us, that we learn to accept it in others.
I hadn't realised how often I judge other motorists on the road when they suddenly cut in front of me and I swear out loud to myself "You silly idiot!" Wow that slipped out so easily. How easy it is to say - "Don't judge". We do it all the time! I had been watching my behaviour and realised I judged and criticised constantly. I was judging and criticising my husband for smoking and, because I have a very sensitive nose, I criticise him for smelling of cigarettes. Yet, although I don't smoke, there must be an aspect in me that I have not acknowledged, in order for me to judge him this way.
I know I don't take too kindly to criticism myself, so that in itself is a lesson for me. I had a terrible argument with my husband one night, over his critical approach to everything. I believe I was unjustly criticising him for reflecting back to me, my own attitude towards him so often. That has been a very valuable lesson for me.
If we listen to the news on television, we are bound to find ourselves inwardly judging or criticising. We may judge people for everything from being on drugs to murder. But until we can really understand that person or persons, by putting ourselves in their place, or 'walking a mile in another man's shoes' as the saying goes, we cannot really understand life from their perspective. Everything in life has a cause and effect. These people may be having family troubles, or physical or mental ailments, which are part of an inner soul Karma which they have to work out. It is not up to us to judge them. We are responsible for everything we see and do. If we see them as 'bad', then it is because they mirror a judgement we, ourselves, place on ourselves on a subconscious level.
I know of people who are very much against homosexuality. But if homosexuality had no relationship to the way we think, why should it affect us so? If we see things from a different perspective, we would not be tempted to judge others the way we do. We live very much in social mores and see life from that perspective. If homosexuality, for example, was accepted as normal in early Greek times, and our society tends to be less lenient towards it on the whole, then is it fair to sit in judgement of something merely because it is scorned in the more conservative social circles today? How can we judge from the point of view of society today? Isn't it fair to accept that each individual has a right to be just as he is, and be more open to another's way of being? Isn't that what unconditional love is all about?
Each individual is working towards his own Karmic path in life, and it is up to each to find his own way, in his own good time. Is it fair of us to be judging others when their lifestyle has no relevance for us today. How do we know we haven't lived that kind of life another time? I once heard it said that we have all been everyone at one time or another throughout our existence. Think about that one! If each of us had been everybody else, aren't we judging ourselves when we judge another?
Those people we seemingly disapprove of, are often reflections of ourselves. It is usually something within our own natures which we are secretly condemning ourselves for, which causes us to judge others. It is amazing how many times we judge others. If we stopped to think about it, the very things we judge them for, or disapprove of them for, are always something in ourselves which we cannot accept, have buried, or refuse to acknowledge. If we had no conflict within ourselves, we would not even be aware of any conflict from their actions, because it would have no meaning for us. We cannot judge something of which we have no understanding ourselves. That is something many will deny, but how can you sit and judge child molesters if you have never had any angry feelings against children at some time or another? You will say this is very different. But is it? We do not know the reasons or understand the circumstances of that person's life. Is it our place to judge them? Surely the law of Karma will work its own way out for them. How can we judge homosexuals if we have never had any sexual feelings towards another which we have not fully understood within ourselves? Of course we want to deny these things, because we want to feel good about ourselves, but does anger and hatred really make us feel good about ourselves?
I once heard it said that if we could read a whole newspaper from cover to cover, and watch the news on television, without making one single judgement, that is, accept what we read and hear without any judgement, we are well on our way towards enlightenment. Try it! It's not easy to do. Our whole lifestyle is made up of judgements and decisions, categorizing and labelling. We are constantly criticizing, even ourselves. Watch yourself during one day, and see how many times you find yourself judging others or yourselves. Do you look in the mirror in the morning and criticize your appearance? Do you reprimand yourself if you make a mistake, or are late for work, or realise you've said the wrong thing?
Judgement of ourselves is our worst enemy. One day I was feeling terrible - tired and not well, and asked help from Divine Source. The answer came:
Your mind is tired. Your body is tired. Let yourself rest in the arms of Love. Do not be afraid to let go. There is a cushion of love ready for you to rest your head upon. Allow self to melt into it. Do not fear for the future. It is all taken care of. All is happening as it is meant to happen. Simply allow. Do not try and force any situation - just go with the flow. Be open to receive answers as they come. When you are fraught with fear or worry you block answers and they cannot be felt by you. Be aware of all things happening to you and around you. Be open to these things without judgement.
We are always here and will be here with you throughout eternity. Resist the urge to judge self. This will bring about great disappointments for you if you do not stop judging. Release it all to God every night and allow the spirit to renew each day with freshness and light. Do not worry about the past - it is gone. The future has not arrived. Take each moment of time as if it is the only one in existence. Your worries will be no more. Only the good survives physical death. All else is transmuted into the ethers and becomes richness for future growth. Be happy always.
The past is gone. The future has not yet come. This is the moment of now. All our judgements are based on past experiences or future fears. We have to try and live in the now. If we can accept ourselves exactly as we are, by loving ourselves totally, we will find it easier not to judge. It must begin with ourselves. To release judgement, we have to first learn to love and accept our circumstances, ourselves and others as they are.
When we flare up in anger at someone, and we judge them wrongly, we may be judging them for something totally in error. What we are actually doing then, is judging them from our perspective and not seeing life from their perspective. In a situation like this, we may be actually misjudging them. Not knowing the whole story, we may be placing ourselves in the dangerous situation of putting our judgements on them, and actually cause them harm.
Releasing judgement is one of the hardest, and yet one of the most important lessons in reaching enlightenment. Imagine if all of mankind ceased to judge his brother - if NO- ONE placed any judgement on another - what a different world it would be.
True judgement is non-judgement. When we pass into spirit, WE are the ones who judge ourselves. We are not judged by an outside God. Everything is inside of us. We become our own judge and jury, with the help of our guides and the loving beings around us, as we review our lives and make decisions on how to improve ourselves the next time around. Everything everyone does is judged by THEM, by their Higher Selves, or their God-Self when they are forced to face their true Selves on the next plane of existence.
Criticising ourselves is what we tend to do here on this earth life. We are more critical with ourselves, more often than not, than we are of others. We pick on others if they do not conform to our standards, but what we are actually doing, is saying "You don't do things according to my standards. You hurt my ego. Therefore I am criticising you". Our ego is our barrier to releasing judgement. It is the ego which tends to rule us, instead of being our servant.
When we subconsciously judge ourselves, we are being self-critical, for not measuring up to the standards we expect of ourselves. It is our ego saying "You are not worthy, or you are not doing it right". Try to listen instead, to your inner voice, or intuition. This voice is not a critical voice. It is a loving, guiding voice and bears no criticism. When you realise your true inner voice has so much love for you, you will learn to love yourself, and you will find it easier to love others. The inner voice is a gentle, guiding voice and will never lead you astray. It will put you on the God-ward path every time.
Our ego is our sense of separation from ourselves. It is the little part of us that tells us we are individual, separate, or different from others. It gives us our distinct personality. But it prevents us from feeling 'oneness' with others. We are all of the same spirit. We are all interconnected. Without our physical bodies, and our egos, we are all one. When we are fighting within ourselves for our individuality, we are pushing others away, and judging them because they are 'different' from us. We do not understand ourselves, so we do not understand others. They are merely being a reflection of ourselves.
When we see the old man down the street drinking himself into a stupor, we are seeing a reflection of our own fears of isolation being expressed through his need to drink. He has used drink as a way out of facing his fears. He will eventually have to face his true reality. We are seeing our own refusal to acknowledge or face our fears mirrored in him. We are denying our own feelings and not truly understanding ourselves.
The only way to begin releasing judgement, is to accept ourselves exactly as we are. Total, unconditional love and total acceptance of every part of ourselves is the only way to release judgement. Through accepting ourselves in totality, we are allowing all things to just be as they are. Once we can do that, we will find everything else easier to accept. We can then begin to realise the pattern our lives are taking and we will be well on our way to living in unconditional love.
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